laughing. i can find humor in almost anything. and sometimes its what keeps me from going insane in this impossible world. :)

i was talking to one of my good friends and i told her about gaia, cause i think its really awesome (lol). she took a look at it and i was trying to get her to sign up (cause she usually diggs the things i like, and i thought she would really become addicted to this movement). but anywhoo, she just seemed apathetic about the whole deal. she's on myspace, facebook, hi5, and she's got an account on glogster and a whole bunch of other networking sites that are all about expressing yourself. i thought that a site that actually had a purpose would be a fresh cup of coffee, but she wasn't interested at all. and that got me thinkin': what if the world doesn't want to change? what if its too caught up in itself to think about what's really important? what if it thinks itself is what's reallly imporant? and i don't really mean the world as in the planet earth, i mean the masses of peope who try to survive here, who have the means to make a difference? i might just be jaded and thinking too hard, too often, and too much, but it really irks me when i see people who just DON"T CARE. i want to help people. i want to wake people up. i want to help people laugh and be happy and i want it right now!!! lol. sorry. selfish moment. :) anywho i've got to go. reality is calling my name. :)
peace,
The Becster :(|)

p.s. that's a monkey at the end of my name. :)

wait! hold on! here it comes....

nope, sorry, my head did not explode
though i feel like i will implode
with all the thoughts frying in my head
cause you said
that we were still cool?

don't take this as sarcasitc
i know i am spaztic
and my father will now tell me to get off
cause this isn't homework
so apparently it isn't relevent to the rest of my life.

so apparently my mental health is an afterthought...

push the lever, pull the button
do your job, don't ask questions
is it wrong to want something more?
is it wrong to want someone more
than just friends who occasionally share soggy fries?

wait! hold on! here it comes...

WFOOF ... *white noise* ... there goes my head.

*beep* hi, rebecca has gone to find herself. if she gets back before she returns please keep her here. *beep*


**disclaimer**
i've been trying out a new feel of poetry. this is not what i usually write. i don't know if i like this or not, please comment.

i'm 17, so this should be an easy question to answer, right? nope. ultimately, i know what i want (as corny as it may seem) : Happiness. but i don't know how i'm supposed to find happiness for myself. having great friends, good times, etc. that's all a part i guess, but even when everything in my life seems perfect, there's still this little part deep inside of me that keeps telling me i'm missing something. so i guess what i'm still searching for is what i'm missing from life, and i have yet to figure out what exactly "it" is. hopefully i'll be able to figure out whatever it is, and hopefully i'll be able to capture and keep it (wow that's sounds selfish) 'cause i want it, whatever "it" is. i think everyone wants that something that make them feel complete, be it a person, a job, or just a moment in their life when they just know that "it" is there....

the kind of person that people can go to when they are having a bad day. i want to make people happy. if i can make someones day just a little brighter, not quite so horrible, my day just gets better.